With that being said, I took what he said and sort of believed him. I still suffer from PTSD. We get married and I feel happy. Completely. I just dont know what to do and what to believe its killing me. The only question now is if you want to remain married to the man who is doing this to you & the kids. I tried calling him several times after the concert should have been over. These are answers to questions you dont know because from day one of marriage, youve been doubting his integrity. When were telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. But most every night i stay wide awake. I wanted out then, but he convinced me to stay. Saying it was old friends catching up and when I found the picture, he didnt tell me saying he knew I would blow it out of proportion and think it was more than it was. Anyhow, any man that cheats while his partner is pregnant simply cannot be called a man. He spends less time fishing, going to the pool, skating and doing activities with our kids. We all do and hurt or not I want to make things better. In my belief, at just shy of 50 and with the same guy almost 30 years, if you lose who you are and give up your own dreams and independence, you not only will eventually find your spouse and yourself at opposite ends continually but you will find yourself at 50 wondering why you became one of the coulda, woulda, shoulda clan. I extended the spyware for 2 years. but he was begging for me back the whole time telling me I was the love of his life. Now that 7 months had past, I recognized I was played, taken advantage of, plotting against me, setting me up and like the police said, they deal with men like that all the time. How tragic is that. He cheated many times on his previous women while in relationships. Yes I am one of those women who fell for his BS, hook, line and sinker. I dont know what else to do!!!! Tell her the story he told you and it will piss her off and she will tell everything. Like all women, we fell hook, line and sinkerThey got us, but still wants to live the single life. We fought and he says the he is not having affair but cant remember what the notes refer to. So this time i did snoop. I pray God gives you strength to make difficult decisions, and to show yourself the love youve always deserved but didnt feel worthy of. IF my husband will cheat, then I dont believe there is a man out there who wont. The sad part is I want my kids to have a mommy and daddy under one roof. What is holding you back from walking out of your marriage? I recently learned he was reaching out to strange women through Facebook. When I asked him point blank if he was cheating, he asked me why I thought he was cheating. There was and still has been no sympathy or compassion for my broken heart. Its hard to leave when he may or may not have cheated. Im on the brink of a divorce and we havent even been married a week. Hi, Lets make a deal You listen to what i have to say REAL carefully, and i will help you get your relationship issues together. You are worthy of better!! Facebook opened the floodgates for ghosts of girlfriends past . One desperate night, I even attempted suicide. It was bad enough that one woman came forth but now a second one. Only because his emails We have lots of it at home. That is why part of me wants to believe he's innocent. I believe you know deep in your heart if you can trust your husband as much as you know if you can trust anyone. That feels like someone cheated on you. For instance, the other day I was going to go lay down in his room, and he said, hold on I need to go in there first. It seems to me the unpaid labour of a year was an affair. I hate to be negative, but most likely your husband has done more than you have evidence for. I would happily have gone to the justice of the peace as we were both 19 at the time. About me. He apologized and swears he would never do it again. Hes never reachable by phone and his schedule is magically so mixed up I can never see him (or he wont tell me his work hours until last minute so I cant plan to see him). Or he wouldnt be working in counseling to work things out! I hope this changes someones life out there. He did and spent Christmas with her and her family.I filed for divorce two weeks later. I said, I know the relationship looks like more than it is but he has assured me that they are,just friends. and he gets mad when i accuse him of cheating with her. ! I had say yes, I live, but I think I will leave until a judge or someone competent says so. my only regret is that I didnt smarten up sooner. I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. I have phrased it as if from the female partners point of view to keep it in keeping with the above. We go out of town from time to time for training. And, if he didnt have a sexual relationship, you feel cheated that your best friend, your husband, your groom would even dare spend time with another woman while you slept in your hotel room especially on your honeymoon. But I am at a lose. That is the true loss in my story. And is always accusing me of messing around. I checked his phone and he had deleted the calls to and from her from his phone but I found them on the internet bill. Women who think their husbands would never cheat are destroyed when they find out their husbands are lying about cheating. And it was probably wise not to confront your husband immediately, without first trying to gain additional information. Amen. Well she started posting things on her social media about if shes worth anything shes worth anything now, how she wants a movie date and other things which had me feeling like those were directed towards him. are his privates, your private property? Maybe it was the slowing down of drinking? I thought or assumed that was his issue most his life. But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. His constant criticizing me, being snobbish, distant, blackmailing I laugh now as my initial reaction was being not confidant at all, feeling small and insignificant. He has continued to reject me physically, and still to this day defends her when her name comes up I know that I am not wrong, I know that even IF( big IF) he never slept with her, he had an intense emotional relationship with her, that superceeded ours by far, and that alone has ruined our relationship and our marriage, and I cannot let go of the it, I need to know the truth, and why! LadiesTRUST YOUR GUT! I use a site called UndercoverAffairs.com and youll find lot of like minded people who are married (like me!) Like two weeks after we got married we went on a honeymoon. Found out a few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me. But i have to let go.. My advice to you would be to stop the friendship before you get into a mess youre not prepared to deal with!! I also encourage you to book a session or two with a marriage counselor, so both you and your husband can learn tools for rebuilding your marriage. We are having major problems and are going to separate in the next month or sohave to wait until the lease is up. May you talk to the right people, read the right books, and connect with the right sources of healing, courage, and strength. If your spouse is clever . Im not sure what to do. We've been together 26 years and I don't want my marriage to end. This time he says i told her on her other facebook page which isnt on my facebook that I have a woman and to leave me alone but she just wont stop. Then why wouldnt you want to make sure she not only hears it from you but feels it through your actions? I used to think I was special to him and he would never cheat on me. I know what youre experiencing. I think my husband has cheated on me or have the intention of cheating; with a former classmate of his. I do not know your husband nor do I even know you but if I did I would most likely beg you to go out for a drink with me and explain al the reasons why you are better then him while we knocked back martinis .. that being said I am sure you have to know he will most likely never recover from this cerial cheting he has got going on here. He says it was just to look but I told him how hurtful it was and he agreed not to visit the site. He actually had the lack of respect for me to ask me to email her and basically tell her that I was fine with them communicating. How to Find Out the Truth. But I want to understand why any guy in the right mind would want to risk having an affair while he wants to work it out with his wife. He said he never told me she was an older woman, but Im not an idiot. Spaces fill up quickly for this course. I dont understand why my husband is the way he is. Reading posts that evaluate the male and females ability to be monogamous has always intrigued me, especially coming from a mans point of view and what kind of man it is coming from and his experience in life with women in particular is very interesting. He then told me he kissed her, put his hands up her shirt, and made out with her. We argue alot about this topic and now we lost respect and we hardly have any comunication we avoid each other. He picks fights with me for no reason, is always angry about something trivial and will use as an excuse to sleep away from me. You dont know how some woman reacted. NOW iam a very happy person in very healthy, happy, protective relationship. He has his cell phone attached to his side constantly only to turn it off and LOCKED when hes sleeping. I learned a lot from that experience, and my advice to you would be that, its good to stand up for yourself, but if you try to control too much, hell resent you for it and do it behind your back anyway. If their belly button faces the door or exit, its because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. How to identify and fix relationship issues. Before you learn how to confront a cheater, prepare yourself for the obvious: The majority of cheating spouses will deny-deny-deny cheating until they are blue in the face. Yet another one. In the last few months my husbands behavior has changed, consistant flirting, he tells half truths or white lies and when I complain about his behavior toward other women he gets very aggressive professing hes not doing anything. We were 44 at the time. Those are questions only you can answer. But he wont. A sign your husband is lying about cheating is the frequently used words on his phone. I talked to several of the girls he had been with and he told them the same thing your guy did. He has told me she asked numerous times to eat dinner but he said he needed to be home with me and family. Thats for yourself and for your children, if any. None of you are crazy, nor do you deserve to be subjected to this horrible betrayalstop taking it as a way to measure your worth! The next morning I got up early and checked his phone and I was not expecting to find any messages because he usually deletes them, but there on his phone was two messages from her and two replies from him. Honestly, I dont know where to start. After six moths of dating I had only eyes for him. Hes no longer that happy spending time with me. Are you in love with your wife and want to connect with her more? Over time, it will help you work through your feelings and help you decide what your next steps should be. It sounds like you and your husband are going through so much! I asked again the next day and he said there is no one. The night before I checked his phone I had cuddled up to him in bed and he more or less shrugged me off. It sounds like he did do something dodgy that night or he would of told you where he went but I suggest you talk to him very calmly and just say that you wont get mad you just need to know if hes done it again because youd like to work things out for the sake of your children if he admits or not you should get couples counselling. I found out while I was at church on Sundays he was at her house, smoking crack, helping her with bills, bringing her to the laundry matt, etc. If course, she wouldnt . Pushing yourself to come up with answers . He has the neighbors involved helping hide her. Just a week before I said to him that if someone came up to me and said you cheated on me I would not believe them I trust you 150% and he looked at me with love eyes. I then started checking his phone and his FB messages which talk about he they slept together and him having to pay for her morning after pill. So for the past 7 months i havent done it for him. 5. Thanks!:). It can be very difficult to know if your husband is cheating and lying. I did not see any photos. He now works about 2 hours away from home and doesnt even stay home most of the time. Now I am honestly wondering if it was an excuse for him to cheat on me. Any advice? I found an itinerary for a king sized suite for two at a hotel in our city. Thank you, Once infidelity and that type of dishonesty occur in a relationship, it is difficult to ever feel secure or fully trust that person again. Well, I text her from my husbands phone while he was asleep and acted like him and asked if she still had the text and she said she had deleted them. I want to see a marriage counselor but cant. I confronted him but he says that the lady asked him to text that so that she could make his boyfriend jealous, I dont believe this at all, on top of that he has been sex texting with his ex girlfriend telling her how he love her p***y and would like to cum in actually he asked her if she can preserve herself for him until she come back, I feel devastated, he does not admit to it, all he says I know you dont believe me but that the truth. He doesnt care to ask for my work schedule to see if we can hang out nor does he make any efforts to hang out. Thanks for pointing these things out. I think until now he is up into simething. Id always said, I NEVER in a million years go with a married man! It was WRONG! Men love to look at younger, better bodied women. Since the beginning, I suffered through numerous emotion breakdowns. I read where a spouse wrote, I have my self-resect about me and I guess that is me too. About a year before he left to go out of state for work, we all got Facebook pages. Plz help. That is the only way to find a solution. Do you feel that fateful night on your honeymoon began a cycle of mistrust that has spiraled to where you doubt some things he says are truthful today? To my amazement he had been telling women that the only reason he was on there was to have sex. only during times when I was not at home, or while he was at work. It was weirdhe says he loves me and talks about future plans and is looking for a house to buy for us but when I talk to him about my feelings he changes the subject a lot or doesnt look like he is listeningsorry this is so long but please pleases help me with some advice. I felt like the STUPIDEST woman alive!! I had phone records for 2 years that showed a pattern of them talking extensively on a constant basis seven days a week 24-7. No hand holding no romance pretty much nothing!!! He always go to work even weekends. What is one thing you can do today to start creating that life? and past years had found 3 speptert phones see i catch him but of cousre kills the issue when i need straigh answers he wont leave the kids he tells me to leave well no way well lastweek or so an old girl when my kids wre 2 found him in facebook and she sent him a messsage and stupid him ofcouser he just leave so much eveidence like he emails stuff doesnt know how to shut off the notifications on face book and 2 weeks ago he lied taht his cousin gave him a cell to take over okay lol how did she change it to your name okay lol well and 3 years ago he a a child hold freind that i think the were getting close cause of couse she had a better censahumor then me. We dont spend a whole lot of time together because of his job and the kids activities plus I work full time job. Whether its your husband cheating or you being overly sensitive or paranoid, I dont know. My husband is considered by everyone the nicest guy but little did they know. only when he uses his phone she responds. I think it was a control thing. When I questioned it he flipped on me. He goes to bed. I dont know the answer to that.I suppose thats a matter of personal opinion. Hmm..that is obviously girly movie.. We get back home. Yet, had the nerve to tell me he was going to the firehouse to get homework done, because our daughter was being a pain in the butt throwing a temper tantrum and he needed to concentrate. He is a hard working man, hes absolutely wonderful with my girl, he is a great provider, my family loves him, he has never hit me or tried to hurt me in any way. Home About Us The First Step Read or Listen What We Offer Reviews Contact. i was confussed i decided to take a boyfriend but could not work out everytime the boyfriend phoning me to meet i go and if he touched me i think of my boyfriend and leave i did not do anything with him but was trying becouse of anger. 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